The past couple evenings have been interesting. Okay, so maybe the usage of the word interesting is a little more polite that I intended it to be.
Originally, I figured one of the most important things to base a good friendship off of was a mutual concept of respect and trust toward each other. "There is no life without love, there is no love without trust." (Cupid to Psyche). Of course that has a tendency to come across as cheesey as "Roses are red, violets are blue," poems (which I happen to appreciate under some circumstances). Regardless, I do not think many people are going to argue me for the aforementioned point. ..Except for maybe the people who have crossed that line.
Girls are a unique gender. Men are too, undoubtedly, but most of my friends are female. Or gay.. these sometimes can correlate.
Anyways, a rule amongst females who have a strong friendship relationship, (at least in my gang), was to never consider dating your best friends' boyfriend of four years, regardless of the fact that they are now not seeing each other in a romantic capacity. No female likes to be put in that awkward position, and I for one, would not be able to have a romantic relationship with an ex-boyfriend of my best friend. (This wording is getting confusing for me, I think I am being too general.)
But with this situation and having a really great friend of four years, going about dating an ex-long term committed relationship of another four years, gets a bit sketchy.
I am unsure if I would like to discuss the same relationship I had, but transposed to another person. Undoubtedly I am a great source of advice and information on the topic.. And I do not think I am being self-righteouss about the "awkwardnessity."
Girls talk about their relationships. Alot. Too much. So now what is there left to talk about, now that I am being unreasonable and refuse to discuss the inner workings of said relationship?
I am guessing... soccer and college, food, and music? Well, maybe not music, no one listens to my music that I assosciate with on a daily basis. I think I have great taste in music! Why does it have to be my generation that has this ridiculous affinity for really bad country, and rap?
Old school rap, I can listen to this; I find it humurous.
I am off topic now.
I am also tiring quickly of the, "But I can't help the way I feel," defense. I do not accept this as an overly valid excuse. I "help" the way I feel on a daily basis, really! Sometimes I would not mind letting go of my diplomacy and sense of empathy, and maybe saying something that may not exactly be charachteristic of my nature. However, I refrain from doing so; just because you feel an emotion to a high extent, does not give you automatic permission to act on that feeling without regard to the people that it might have some kind of a detimental affect on. (or is is effect.. Linguisticly speaking, sometimes i mix the two up.) It's a bit of an odd feeling; being the second choice. I guess I should be thankful for that reaffirmation of my friendship, or lack thereof.
Maybe if I felt like I was being selfish, or just all around wrong, then maybe I would feel worse. But in this case mostly I just feel just somekind of self-righteouss betrayal. I'm allowed to be right, sometimes.
Maybe it would also be different if I was a crappy friend. I'm a damn good friend though. I'm good at that. I'm good at loyalty.
"I just want you to be happy," is a pretty loaded response.
Sometimes I like feeling taken for granted though; it reminds me that there was something worth taking advantage of to begin with. It's a roundabout way to feel self-worth, but it works.
ON ANOTHER NOTE:
Last night my buddy and I tried making some cookies from this recipe Jana gave us. The recipe called for a package of cream cheese. I figure, "If it has the word cookie and cream cheese in it, how could itpossibly be bad?"
The cookies tasted like tupperware, and when we cut one with an exacto-knife, the interior was like a flakey biscuit.
So bad... They were really bad. We should have just taken Kaleigh's advice, and made the damned sugar cookies.
They did look pretty though. We went to Winn-Dixie to see if they had any chunnakah cookie cutters so our christmas cookies might be politically correct... We found no manora or star of david. Very dissapointing.
Jeebus, those cookies were bad.
Originally, I figured one of the most important things to base a good friendship off of was a mutual concept of respect and trust toward each other. "There is no life without love, there is no love without trust." (Cupid to Psyche). Of course that has a tendency to come across as cheesey as "Roses are red, violets are blue," poems (which I happen to appreciate under some circumstances). Regardless, I do not think many people are going to argue me for the aforementioned point. ..Except for maybe the people who have crossed that line.
Girls are a unique gender. Men are too, undoubtedly, but most of my friends are female. Or gay.. these sometimes can correlate.
Anyways, a rule amongst females who have a strong friendship relationship, (at least in my gang), was to never consider dating your best friends' boyfriend of four years, regardless of the fact that they are now not seeing each other in a romantic capacity. No female likes to be put in that awkward position, and I for one, would not be able to have a romantic relationship with an ex-boyfriend of my best friend. (This wording is getting confusing for me, I think I am being too general.)
But with this situation and having a really great friend of four years, going about dating an ex-long term committed relationship of another four years, gets a bit sketchy.
I am unsure if I would like to discuss the same relationship I had, but transposed to another person. Undoubtedly I am a great source of advice and information on the topic.. And I do not think I am being self-righteouss about the "awkwardnessity."
Girls talk about their relationships. Alot. Too much. So now what is there left to talk about, now that I am being unreasonable and refuse to discuss the inner workings of said relationship?
I am guessing... soccer and college, food, and music? Well, maybe not music, no one listens to my music that I assosciate with on a daily basis. I think I have great taste in music! Why does it have to be my generation that has this ridiculous affinity for really bad country, and rap?
Old school rap, I can listen to this; I find it humurous.
I am off topic now.
I am also tiring quickly of the, "But I can't help the way I feel," defense. I do not accept this as an overly valid excuse. I "help" the way I feel on a daily basis, really! Sometimes I would not mind letting go of my diplomacy and sense of empathy, and maybe saying something that may not exactly be charachteristic of my nature. However, I refrain from doing so; just because you feel an emotion to a high extent, does not give you automatic permission to act on that feeling without regard to the people that it might have some kind of a detimental affect on. (or is is effect.. Linguisticly speaking, sometimes i mix the two up.) It's a bit of an odd feeling; being the second choice. I guess I should be thankful for that reaffirmation of my friendship, or lack thereof.
Maybe if I felt like I was being selfish, or just all around wrong, then maybe I would feel worse. But in this case mostly I just feel just somekind of self-righteouss betrayal. I'm allowed to be right, sometimes.
Maybe it would also be different if I was a crappy friend. I'm a damn good friend though. I'm good at that. I'm good at loyalty.
"I just want you to be happy," is a pretty loaded response.
Sometimes I like feeling taken for granted though; it reminds me that there was something worth taking advantage of to begin with. It's a roundabout way to feel self-worth, but it works.
ON ANOTHER NOTE:
Last night my buddy and I tried making some cookies from this recipe Jana gave us. The recipe called for a package of cream cheese. I figure, "If it has the word cookie and cream cheese in it, how could itpossibly be bad?"
The cookies tasted like tupperware, and when we cut one with an exacto-knife, the interior was like a flakey biscuit.
So bad... They were really bad. We should have just taken Kaleigh's advice, and made the damned sugar cookies.
They did look pretty though. We went to Winn-Dixie to see if they had any chunnakah cookie cutters so our christmas cookies might be politically correct... We found no manora or star of david. Very dissapointing.
Jeebus, those cookies were bad.
Picture details (from bottom up): Picture number eins: Cookie that somehow got baked with an insect wing on it.. we tried to give it to my mom.. she noticed.
Picture number zwei: panoramic o' cookies. YUM, you guys!
Picture number drei: Lance Zirlott enjoying one of the cookies... I just told him to look excited about it, so people wouldn't think we're sorry bakers..
Picture number vier: THUMBS UP TO JESUSMAS COOKIES!!
2 comments:
I know how you feel about your friend. I have been through the same exact thing, and they are now married. That probably does not make you feel any better. But God has a strange design. If it wasn't for my ex and Robby's ex, we would have never met and become such good friends. Don't give up on relationships; they can be and are intended to be divine. And don't give up on cooking.
Well then yay for strange design. If you and bobbert weren't such good man-friends, then I would end up minus a blogging compadre (..sp?), and possibly minus a brother in law.. or maybe not a brother in law as nifty as Bobbert.
And it does make me feel a little better, actually, so thank you for that!
And the only way I am giving up on cooking, is if I marry a chef. I don't foresee that happening though, so I don't think the future or my cooking skills are beoing threatened. Which may, or may not be beneficial for the world. ergh.
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