Yes, that is an actual picture of the Cimarron Club... well, at least the front doors. As you can see, the Cimarron is a "private club, members only." Most people from Mobile can tell you at least one thing about the Cimarron club, aside from its predelection for holiday shrubbery nailed to the front door ("gangsta" style).. We know of the frequent shoot-outs occurring directly in its vicinity, the meth busts, and the arrests of cracked-out ebony goddesses (I am going to go out on a limb and say freelance hookers)... But no one has seen the inside of the Cimarron Club! May I ask why this is a private club? Is it really in fact that elite? How does one go about becoming a member of the Cimarron Club? What are they hiding in there, that is so important it has to be private? ....Anthrax?
My worst nightmare, consists of a night in which I am driving by the Cimarron Club, The Juggernaut breaks down (very plausible..) and I am stranded directly in front of this "elitist" establishment. I am sure The Juggernaut, and my life, will be accosted by a hooker with a gimp, and someone else equally as hardcore (possibly Chuck Norris), before I even have a chance to bury myself under the Biscuit 'Lasses jars in the open produce market across the street.
Someone needs to get to this bottom of this. ...Someone who is not me.
On another "interesting" note: Dina has a job now. I left the nazi regime known as Ruby Tuesdays, for another equally as oppressive work environment I can sell my soul too. WAFFLE HOUSE!! Now, not only can I work from 12 in the morning until 7 in the morning, I can also get propositioned by drunken rednecks and college kids! (This is the Awful Waffle on Old Shell, therefore I will get the tanked out fratters.) ..and I can end up smelling like burned omelet and bacon grease in the process! What's not to love; aside from the aforementioned... On the bright(ish) side, I will be getting paid six dollars an hour plus tips, and I undoubtedly will have some highly entertaining stories to schlump up here. That's right, this is going to be the absolute peak of my career life. Just in the application process I saw a big man with a toothless hooker, this excited me. ...not in the traditional excitement connotation; more like, "Oh God.. That's significantly gross."
Lastly, I am very tired now. Tuesday night was spent on the phone complaining to a gay man about a sociology final. How would YOU answer this, for godssake..: Is there a hidden curriculum in the Mobile County public school system, and if so; what should we be doing to make parents aware?
Well.. since the curriculum is apparently hidden, I have really no idea WHAT the dump this means. My teacher is what is known as "an idiot" who is a firm believer in the "conservative conspiracy." I am not conservative, but everything that comes out of this woman's mouth is dripping with incredible bias that I lack the patience for.
In the wise words of Jamal from the Tribe, "CHUPAMAHULAUHPAUHA!"
p.s. I would also like to quote my wonderful grandmother, "What's the deal with these porns, anyways? I tried watchin' one, all it was was just about of grunting and sweat."
That's right MawMaw, fill me up with your wisdom.
Tonight will be spent with my lovely Psychology book.. Oh yes, you're mine ALL NIGHT, biotch.
2 comments:
Thanks for your post, Miss Dina. You really had me concerned for you up until the end when I realized that you were being sarcastic. But seriously, I can help you with some of that stuff. Namely, the capybara. Yes, I have seen the inside of the infamous Cimmaron Club, a.k.a. Capybara Corner for those who are in the know. I am in the know, and I have been in the belly of said beast. It is no more than a black market where innocent but fierce capybara are bought and sold at discount prices. Why do think a produce market is across the street from such a detestable place. Coincidence? I think not. This is where they store all the tons of food that these rodents consume. The owner of Capybara Corner is quite wealthy and mad. He has spent untold fortunes hiring local actors who portray pimps and hos to scare off unknowing locals. Any person in the trade business can see through this facade, because all capybara black markets are set up the same. The owner is also the headmaster of Faith Academy Christian School, which is also a front for the mass production and distribution of the south's biggest supply of crystal meth.
So you are in fact admitting that you, yourself, have been involved in underground trade of capybara? Fighting capybara, nonetheless! Is there a fight club dedicated to this species, and if so, how can I get in on the action? I am sure I could assist in some civil union capacity. Maybe not. However, I can imagine that black market capybara trade can be profittable.. perhaps I should look into that, and forget about Waffle House (which I am sure is far more inhumane.)
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