I do not mean to make two posts in one day; unfortunately I could not get past this.
Unnacompanied Minors" May I ask, why?
Why, God? Why?
Why do we need this movie in our world? Why must we let actors like that guy from That 80's Show, run amok?
I did not need to see that commercial; I did not need to be confronted by the dredges of the acting world all at once. I did not need to hear a young,black child rapping about being an "unncompanied minor". What is that?!
MAN, what happened to all f the awesome christmas movies?
i.e.: The Christmas Story, It's a Wonderful Life, Family Vacation, Miracle on 34th Street, Rudoph (the claymation one), The Grinch (not that shoddy one that Jim Carrey made.. so bad. I am talking about the cartoon made a llonngg time ago?).. etc.
Modern holiday movies are awful. I remember when Jingle All the Way came out. I think I almost keeled over myself with the absurd, and excessive amount of commercialism... not to mention my despair at seeing Arnold in yet another acting role. (but it is prefferable to his Governing role. yikes.)
But for godssake. UNNACOMPANIED MINORS?!
Nothing screams merry christmas to me, like a bunch of snot faced kids, depraved "adult" actors, and a pointless movie about a load of assholes stranded in the airport.
And the moral of the story?:
Next time hang yourself from the rafters if you find your acting career has landed you in such a travesty as "Unnacompanied Minors.".. instead of punishing the world with your annoying lack of talent.
I think I could get just as much christmas spirit as this movie spits out, by being tramped by a herd of reindeer.
Why do we need this movie, why?!
I wish next time the movie industry attemptsto elate my holiday spirit, it would simply refrain from doing so and do something more productive that does not involve diminishing the sanctity of my Christmas.
Yack..
4 comments:
What I want to know is who wrote that catchy Christmas instrumental that these modern Christmas movies sampled from the critically acclaimed Home Alone? You know that song that they use for any scene where the characters are running amuck in a side-splitting and jovial manner, and the producer speeds up the film for a gag effect making us think they are running sonic the hedgehog fast, but we all know that humans can't run that fast unless they are on crack, and I think it's safe to say that any respectable airport security personnel would not let a bunch of unaccompanied minors do crack, but the truth is that I am on crack, for how else could I so craftily compose the greatest run-on sentence the world has ever known. I think it was Sir John Williams who blessed us with that holiday classic. Or was it Sir Michael McDonald? Man, the Queen is really letting go of her standards on the knighting criteria. Maybe, I should apply this year. I might submit that run-on sentence in my application. I'm a shoe-in.
Oh wow, that really is a fantastic run on sentence, good job there little buddy! My mother, the english teacher, would be proud to have let lose her stream of red (or possibly purple) ink on that little piece of heaven! Did you know that when you are in a neighborhood, and you see tennis shoes thrown over some phone of cable wiring; this means that there is in fact methamphetimines in the vicinity? I of course know this because I am in fact from da' hood, and recently made meth from a compilation of melted Dove deoderant for women, Pine Sol (original scent), and four hairs off of a virgins head.
...Okay, so I can't back that up either.
If you are looking into knight-hood; I think with the aforementioned run-on, and the history you have with fighting Capybara trade.. I think you would definitely have a fighting chance, seeing as how both of these are entirely more noble than the production of Unnacompanied Minors.
I think there is something written in the Bible about how no one should make movies like that... granted it's in the margins.. written in crayon, and it's in my handwriting.. but it's there nonetheless.
You, my friend, are nothing short of highlarryus. You really should be a righter. You would be a grate righter for a crazy website like homestar runner. I have obvyusly moved on from run on sentences to bigger and better things like horrific spelling misteaks of simpel words. That should impress the Jobe.
I think "teh Jobe" would be very impressed. Once she had children misspell their names. I especially appreciate it when people think "the" is seriously spelled "Da" or "Thu".
I also like it when people say, "Ya'll, I'm stupid, ya'll!"
If we could use "ya'll" just once per sentence, that would be nice.
Post a Comment