Sunday, December 10, 2006

Ich heisse Wohl Fische eine Brille. Ich heisse Nuddelsuppe.





Above you will see one of the biggest wastes of space I have ever managed lay eyes upon. Alright, so that is somewhat of an exaggeration, but I really hate that thing.

What you see is THE JAGTRAN. This elephantile waste of my tuition roams the South campus, wreaking of diesel. The diesel smell is so powerful, you can actually smell the JagTran coming, even before it comes around the corner to run you over in the most regardless way possible. The JagTran is out for blood, I have come into this discovery. Jagtran wants to run you over.

Although in the picture above you may see a significant amount of people riding the JagTran, trust that this is not the case. That picture must have been posed by coercing, (and possibly paying), some poor college kids to sit still while the JagTran takes them God knows where. Rarely ever do I see anyone on the Jagtran aside from its operator, maybe because if you plan to use it as a transport to your next class, you will undoubtedly arrive late. Very late. My english professor even said that if we are late, all we have to say is, "JagTran," and it will suffice as an excuse.

You have two species of Jagtran to choose from, openned and closed. Above you will see the open JagTran that is reminscent of the trans you might would ride on in Disney world. I often feel compelled to dress up in a Mickey T-shirt and fanny pack and ride the Jagtran; disney-style. The closed JagTran just looks like a "pimped-out" shortbus, and is equally as annoying to see speeding down the sidewalk I am attempting to walk on.

Recently there was "Party in the Jagtran", in which a dozen students assembled to ride the Jagtran one afternoon, brought KFC and sprite, and rode the Jagtran around campus for an hour. They had also brought a stereo and turned the volume up all the way, blaring the The Matrix soundtrack. I find this usage of JagTran to be acceptable.

I do not know what it is with me and the automotive related appliances. I hate them.

An update on the Juggernaut:

Now we get to shake the Juggernaut to get it going, it's great. Saturday morning my mother and I could be caught in the front lawn shaking the Juggernaut frat-party style. I spent the night with my Katie and Laura saturday night, and when I woke to leave in the morning, we could be caught doing the same exact thing.. again in the front lawn. Unfortunately we were not doing a good enough job of shakin' up the Juggernaut, so we walked a couple houses down to my automotively-inclined gay man's house and got him to join in on the shaking of the Juggernaut. The Juggernaut and I got home eventually, with me cursing it the entire way, demanding its allegiance to me.

I believe the Juggernaut is rapidly declining into a "hoopty." I hate The Juggernaut, and the Juggernaut hates me. We have been fighting alot lately, and this past week we've barely spoken. We had an especially bad fight when The Juggernaut drove away from the Circle K without it's gas cap. We went back later and found half of the gas cap. Then The Juggernaut drove away from yet another circle K, again without whatever was left of the gas cap.

I think we might break up soon.

P.s. I am ready for Christmas. I want to make some ganked up mice.

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