I always figured life works itself out, eventually. It's a common philosophy, and often we are taught it early in life. Don't sweat the small stuff, follow your heart, it all happens for a reason etc. I say what a load of fluff.
Everything happens for a reason, sometimes when a person pieces this sentiment together and unleashes it upon me for what seems like my benefit, I am often struck by an overwhelming desire to run through a glass door. Not everything happens for a reason, quite often, terrible things happen for no reason at all. Everything simply happens, and not for the benefit of anyone. Lives are destroyed, and people hurt because there really is no other choice. Someone has to get the short end of the stick. (Or is it the straw?) We say that everything happens for a reason, because it we stopped believing that, then we'd realize how little control we really have. Oftentimes we try to excuse it all by claiming we have learned valuable life lessons through trying experiences. Who cares? "Valuable life lessons," are only there to cover up how much we have lost, and how deeply rooted the damage is.
Lucky few grow in open acceptance, re-learning the art of love and vulnerability. And while life is a continuous bout of learning, we do not all continue to grow. Some digress from places of warmth and individuality, to coldness. These people walk amongst you, mothers, children, husbands, bosses, and seem life-like. If you could hear their minds, you might would discover that people can become unrecognizable to themselves as a life. Apathy, loneliness, ambivalence, mistrust, these are the diseases of humankind; stopping you in your tracks and letting you question if you really, truly and honestly, love anything at all.
And it's stupid. Stupid that life is going to be hard, and that we all will be hurt in various traumatizing ways. Life is not hard so that it can teach you coy lessons in appreciation and coping. Events come and go leaving all the negative space around our bodies without even the slightest consideration for how much we can take before our minds begin to shut down and we shut ourselves off from the world, each other, and to our own self. And everything happens. People we have loved die, relationships end, and the people who hurt us go free.
While we might never have understanding for each other, at least the common thread of heartache connects us all in sometimes twisted, but comforting ways.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
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