Ich bin die Hammster

I resort to apologies again, because I have been pretty busy with school work. Frankly, I am glad I did not get a job this semester, I do not think I would have been able to find any sort of balance between the two, and have some left for a remaining extra-curricular being. In other words; here I am in my non-being functional in the economy- glory.

Unfortunately, yet again, I do not exactly have the time to write anything that would be entirely of interest. I need to go re-study for an Anatomy and Physiology lab on pH I have this afternoon. I think it would be great if in the middle of said lab, I could call my sister and have someone other than "creepy know-it-all" guy as a lab partner.

I do, however, have time to elaborate on "creepy know-it-all" guy. I will be telling this story in Screenwriting format, in order to get some practice in. To give some background on this peevish character, he is that weird guy we know that shouts out random answers in class, using what he thinks is an extensive medical vocabulary, and acts as if they have all the answers to all the question.. and 99.9% of the time, they are wrong.. and 99.8% of the time, they will protest the professor for rejecting their answer.

INT. ANATOMY PHYSIOLOGY CLASSROOM

DINA walks into room 260, a large auditorium-like room in which an Anatomy and Physiology I class is being held. Class has not started yet, and she files up the center aisle in order to make it to the top, backmost, row where she habitually sits. She passes the row directly below the row she sits on. CREEPY KNOW-IT-ALL GUY (CKIAG) is sitting here, and watches as she sits.

CKIAG
So.. How are you today?

DINA
(politely)
Fine, thank you. Happy it's friday.

CKIAG
Oh yes, at least it is not Monday.

DINA
ha.. Well, you're right. It's not monday.

CKIAG
I'm going to come sit by you. I hope that's okay

By this time CKIAG is already seated in the seat right next to her.

CKIAG (CONT'D)
(dripping with narcissism)
I'm a chemistry wiz. I guess I had to come
and learn the biological aspects of chemisty,
you know.. because I might need to know that,
seeing as how I am a radiology major.

DINA
(feigning interest)
Really, that's nice. I really dislike most
chemistry. Well, at least in highschool I ---

CKIAG
(cutting her off)
Yes, you see; I had brothers who were 15
years older than me. So I began to defend myself, chemically.

(beat)

DINA
..Chemically.

CKIAG
I would put vinegar and baking soda in
my dogs mouth and sic him on my brothers.
It was hilarious, he looked rabid.
Ahahaha! Ahhaa!

(beat)

DINA
Oh. Poor dog, yeah?

CKIAG
Not really, it was hilarious.

(beat)

DINA

Oh. I have a younger brother who--

CKIAG
(cutting her off again)
I know all the cuts of the body. This is the
saggital cut of the body, right here.

At this point CKIAG begins to run his hang along DINA'S shoulder. Dina scoots to the edge of her seat immediately.

DINA
Okay, well, yes.

CKIAG
(again with the narcissism)
I don't think I could ever be a teacher.

DINA
(trying to make it a two sided conversation)
Really? My mother is a teach--

CKIAG
Because for the past four or five years
I have been taking young boys out
into the wilderness, and teaching them
how to shoot guns; you know, defend
themselves in the rugged wild.

(Beat)

DINA
Uh. Wow, that's really.. Unique?

CKIAG
I stoppped, I wanted to have some teaching
left in me, for when I have children.

(beat)

DINA
..
......
Yes?

By this time in the conversation, class has started, and momentarily CKIAG is quiet. Unfortunately, all throughout class, he interrupts her notes, in attempts to explain the most mundane of biological anatomy to her. (E.g. The rate of an enzyme reaction.)

END

Anyways.. I am not sure what it is about me that the strange ones like. I did not know I wore my own signs of "weirdness" so blatently.

(Beat) I like cheese?

I apologize, since school has started I have not had much time to myself to sit and write. This will not be long at all either, mostly this is just a note that I have not forgotten about my fun, little blog I have got going on in here.

My schedule, and opinion for this semester is as follows:

Computer Applications - (I hate this online class with passion. I have a feeling my teacher dislikes me as well. We participate in weekly discussion, and it seems that my humorous sarcasm is not understood by all. Honestly though, something needs to be interesting about this class to keep my attention.)

Anatomy and Physiology I - (The first part of a Ant.Phys. sequence I need for Nursing school. I took Ant. Phys. in highschool, and it was once of my favorite classes. I think I am going to start off somewhat ahead. I hope. Unfortunately my teacher is about as dynamic as a shelf.)

Western Civilization II - (The second part of a sequence, I have not done West. Civ. I, so i am going somewhat our of order. I had forgotten how much I love history, and Professor Macaluso makes my tuesdays and thursdays much better with his inability to control his voice inflection.)

English Composition II - (I love composition, so hopefully I will enjoy this class just as much as Comp. I. My teacher is no Lakeman, but I like her. Too bad for me, this class deals mostly with argumentation, something I seem to lack the skill of. I like this class though, my best friend is in it, and I get to edit papers.)

Screenwriting II - (Obviously the second part of a two part course. It is a level 400 class, and I am the only freshman, amongst 8 other grad-students. We have ten people in total, the other student is a senior. I was extremely intimidated, until I realized that the only people getting english majors are Sci-Fi wacks, and Dawson's Creek idolizers. We had to write a reveal scene, that plays to the audience only.. One girl came out with a dog-police department, all the other were either set on a different planet, a spaceship, or the far-off future. Mine just has a couple of guys, on a back porch. Not that Lakeman minded, it seemed mine was less criticized than the golden retriever chief of police.)

Above you will Lazy, she pees on my arm, she meow's all night.

Ell oh Ellz

For an in-class assigment in my English class, we were required to write a free-style poem on something we felt was a societal problem, or something we were simply passionate about. Since I do not have much time at the moment to write a full-out blog composition, I am writing the poem down instead. This is the one my English teacher is trying to submit for publication in The Oracle, a art/shortstory/poetry book South publishes every year. Publication is pretty much strictly available to Senior english majors, so statistically it won't happen, but it was an unwarranted boost of some self-esteem.

Sometimes grown ups forget you're down there
On the floor with the ants and the loose wiring.
It would be wise not to chew either one. He will
wake from his stupor, she will tire of her old Sinatras.
Best to forgive them now, before it gets worse;
That way you will have some forgiveness left for later.
When he remembers he is a parent, you'll have a better
shot at Kix, or popsicles, or his keys if they find you
wearing a funny hat instead of shredding papers
at the mail slots. If they wake
and go straight to the medicine cabinet, or each
other's throats, grab a fuzzy and get scarce. Put your
shrieks and tears into the cheap blue fur.
When his eyes happen to fall on you the moment
they hate themselves the most (you can smell it),

you must play very

but not too

dead.

Try to leave your body in their hands - without it

you can climb the window ledge and look out.

Just don't forget the way back into your bruised

skin, you will need it with you if you find a time

to run, or tell. If all the life is beaten out of you,

red dragonflies with wings half air, half spun gold,

gazillions of them, will rise up and bear you to the

warm basket waiting beside the stove of God. Well.

Whatever death turns out to be,

it will be one good father.